Fatty McButterpants

I'm having one of those days where I just feel like Fatty McButterpants.  Know what I mean?  This seemed appropriate.

(bluntcard.com is delightfully rude, if you're into that kind of humor)



Sounds Like More Excuses to Me

It has come to my attention that it's been a month since I've posted.  A MONTH.  I continually find myself in the state of "where is the time going?"

My weight loss is at a plateau.  Now it's time to actually work on it.  I bought a pair of Sketchers Tone Ups (the store I was at didn't have the Shape Ups in my size).  I love these sneakers.  I've never worn a more comfortable, light-weight sneaker.  They even have little holes near the toes for what I call the "air conditioning effect".  They allow your cooling air into your shoes while you walk.

That being said....I have to actually go for a walk.  I'm not talking about wearing them shopping or for whatever other errands I need to run.  I mean an actual "I'm exercising on purpose" walk.  Last time I talked about wanting to go for a run.  I still want to.  But I have to get the proper clothes to do that.  Scoff if you will, but when I ran across the yard with my daughter and my pants literally ended up around my calves (you're welcome for that image), I knew I couldn't go for a run until I go clothes shopping.  Ditto for a good sports bra.  I don't mean my bra ended up around my calves (how's that for an image?!)  I mean I have to get one.  Even though the girls have shrunk, they still have that uncomfortable bounce action going on.  Again, you're welcome.  No one said this was gonna be pretty!

One other obstacle to overcome is seasonal allergies.  I'm dying over here.  I took the kids outside to play yesterday and ended up in the house a half hour later.  And that's with allergy medicine.  Money is tight, as with everyone these days.  A gym membership is just not a realistic expense at this time.  I love spring, but I hate the allergies that come with it. 

The Little Things

It's the little things that tickle me.

Little things that I notice about myself since losing weight.

I have one chin.

I have a collarbone.  I have bones in my shoulders.  I have tendons behind my knees (noticed while shaving my legs in the shower) and it's hard to shave around my ankle because there's an indentation behind the ankle bone.

I have knuckles.  I am wearing rings on fingers I never thought I would.  I have bones in my wrists.  Hip bones?  I have them.  Prominant rib cage...when I'm laying down, but it's there.

I'm not short-winded.  It takes a lot more to wear me out, my endurance and stamina are high.  I can shop all day without blinking an eye.  My feet get tired before I do.

I love the way my husband looks at me, and calls me "Skinny Lady" or his tiny woman, and when he hugs me his arms wrap all the way around me.  He commented the other day on my "chicken legs" with his trademark smirk.  He can pick me up now, and we surprised the kids when he walked into the kitchen with him giving me a piggy-back ride.  He even asked me if I'm wearing a bikini this summer.  HA!!  Yeah, right...NOT happening!  I may be thinner, but I'm certainly not bikini thin!  But the thought behind it makes me pretty happy.

I also have noticed little things that don't tickle me so much, and that's mostly about flabby skin.  Namely my wings.  However, these lovely flappy wings of mine are not going to stop me from wearing sleeveless shirts this summer.  I haven't gone sleeveless in public since high school, and I thought I was a cow then so I rarely did it then either.

You always hear how it's about the little things in life...it's true.

Good Enough to Eat

Last week I bought a book from amazon.com that I was really looking forward to reading.  Bonus, it was on sale.

  It came yesterday.  I started reading it last night before I went to bed, and I haven't wanted to put it down since.  It's called "Good Enough to Eat" by Stacey Ballis.  It is about a woman who sheds 145 lbs., starts leading a healthier life, has her husband leave her for a fat woman, and has to rebuild her life.  This character thinks almost exactly like I do.  Obsessions with food, relationships with other people....

As my son is taking his nap, I'm reading more of the book.  I came upon this part, and feel I have to share because in a nutshell, it's how I feel.

"I run a hot bath for myself, and as it fills, I let my robe drop to the floor and look at myself in the mirror.  I have a good face, not beautiful, at least not to me, but reasonably attractively put together, handsome.  But my body bears the scars of a lifetime of obesity.  White stretch marks line the front of my stomach, my thighs, striate my breasts, which were once a lush 42DDD and are now a 36D, hanging deflated, defeated.  The skin of my upper arms, my inner thighs, and over my abdomen is loose, and while there is excellent muscle tone underneath, the skin, which once was taut over soft pillows of fat, now slides in waves over the space I worked so long to create...My butt, which once loomed in a massive shelf jutting out over my lower back like the stern of a proud sailing vessel, has somehow dropped into a sad double teardrop.  ...With the right bra, I have a great rack.  But naked, naked I look like a newborn bird without feathers; something is not quite finished about me.  I never wanted to get the excess skin removal surgery; it is costly and debilitating.  But I also never really thought about being here.  In this place.....But I feel like a fraud.  Because however good I look dressed, however normal I appear to be in public, once you strip me down, I have essentially the body of an old woman."

I can't wait to finish this book, yet I don't want it to end.

You can find it here:  http://www.amazon.com/Good-Enough-Eat-Stacey-Ballis/dp/B004LQ0EFA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1302106851&sr=1-1

The Demise of Badonka Butt

I'm not a fan of country music, but I am familiar with that song "Honky Tonk Badonka Donk".  I'm also aware that this song is an appreciation of some woman's shapely behind. 

That song "Fat Bottom Girls" by Queen?  I love it.  I love it even more because of the title.

"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-Lot?  "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."  Yep, Baby does have back.

Or...she did.

My butt is gone.  Gone.  The space in my jeans where it used to be is just that--space.  Baggy, saggy and unflattering.  What's left of my tush has gone to mush.  I used to jokingly say that I had a shelf back there that my husband could rest his drink on.  There are pictures of us dancing with his hands resting on that very shelf.

Gone.  Red beans and rice did miss me.

I'm a little upset about this.  Don't get me wrong.  When my weight was at it's peak, my ass was huge.  Broad-side-of-a-barn huge.  But I would like a little junk in my trunk.  Just a little.

Around the corner from the flat and sagging behind is what I have been referring to as The Mom Belly.  It won't go away.  If it wasn't for that I'd be wearing at least a size 12.  It's basically skin (yeah, there's still fat there, but mostly it's just skin).  I can--brace yourself here--pretty much pull it up and smush it so that there's nothing there.  It's pretty cool to see, actually.  But then I put my hands back to my sides and voila.  Mom Belly.  I think if the human body can stretch like it does to accomodate the growth of a child, it sure as hell should shrink back to it's original state when it's done.

Now I guess I'm going to have to go onto youtube and watch "Baby Got Back" since it's now running through my head the way I used to run for the buffet line.

Hey, fellas!
Yeah?
Fellas!
Yeah?
Has your girlfriend got the butt?
Hell, yeah!
Shake it!
Shake it!
Shake it!
Shake it!
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back.

Yep, now you're singing it.  You're welcome!

Wake-Up Call

I follow another blog about life post weight loss surgery.  The woman, Susan Maria, had surgery 10 years ago, and in the last 10 years has made her living helping us with recipes and support, and giving us the tools (vitamins, protein drinks, sugar-free foods) to live successfully post-op.  The website is http://www.bariatriceating.com/.

Why am I telling you this?  Because I just read her latest blog, and it hit me square in the face.  I'm attaching this link so you can read it too.  If you've been following my blog at all, you'll know why I got sucker punched.  And by the way, I'm at the seven month mark...you'll know why that's significant if you click this link:

http://bariatriceating.com/SMblog/?p=1663

So now that you've read that and you know what I'm talking about, guess it's about time to buckle down and quit taking this for granted.

Sweets and Stuff

Boy, do I stink at staying regular at this blogging stuff.  So much for my resolution.  I'm still going to try harder, I promise!

I'm not sure if I've lost any more weight since my last post.  My scale isn't working right after repeatedly being abused by my son, so I can't get an accurate read.  I don't feel any smaller, so I guess that's my answer. 

I've realized something this month.  Sweets don't really agree with me.  My father's birthday was this past weekend, and I made this awesome cake that looked like a plate of spaghetti and meatballs.  Devil's food cake, white frosting and strawberry jam for the "sauce".  Oh, and white chocolate shavings to simulate the Parmesan cheese.  Delicious.  And hell on my system.  This is the second time I've had cake and had the lightheaded/shaky/sweaty/nauseous feeling.  I have to wonder if it is because I have had these two desserts after eating dinner, because it is not the first time I've had sweets period.  Cookies, candies, even an occasional "fun size" candy bar with no ill effects.  As a matter of fact, I just had one of the cookies I made for my daughter's class snack.  Yeah yeah, I know, bad me, blah blah blah.  I know all about how bad it is.  If I deprive myself of these things, this is never going to work.  Anyway, I'm going to avoid the dinner-then-dessert combination and see what happens.

I've been spending a lot of time in the kitchen, and adding some recipes to my recipe blog.  I don't think many of you look at it, but I use it as a kind of cookbook for myself.  Already I've gone back to it to see how I made something.  I'm really enjoying doing it, even if it is only for me and my mother.

Spring is just around the corner, and I know we're all looking forward to it.  I'm looking forward to it not only for the nicer weather, but also because that's when the grill comes out of storage.  I don't have a covered deck and I'm not opening the sliding glass doors in the living room to let in the cold and track snow in onto the carpet.  No thanks.  But it is something else to look forward to!  Most of my cooking gets done on the grill in the summer.  Meats, pizzas, corn on the cob, potatoes...you name it, I'll try it.  It helps to have the side burner as well.  I'm really looking forward to seeing how grilled food works for me.  Now if this snow would just melt...