Short and Sweet

47 lbs. lighter, and I gotta admit, it feels pretty damn good.  I guess it's time to start an exercise program and bump that 47 up.

I'm still waiting for the time when I can eat something other than mashed potatoes without feeling like I have to throw up...

But for now, I'm going to enjoy my new size.  I can't believe I'm comfortable enough to post this for all the world to see, but I am!

Obessed Much?

I wanna let you in on a little secret.

I have a lifelong obsession with food.

You're shocked, I'm sure.

See, before I had my surgery, I had to meet with the psychiatrist that would determine if I had any food obsessions that could possibly deter my success.  He said I don't.  He is wrong.  WRONG.  I think about food constantly.  A lot of my childhood memories revolve around food.  It started when I was just a little squirt...

My earliest memory is vague, but in it I am watching my mother peel and cut an onion.  I know it is an early memory because we were in the trailer, and we only lived there until I was 3.

One year for Christmas (I think I was 8 or 9, no more than 10) we were opening our presents.  I started to open one of mine, and the box under the wrapping paper was a Schwans chicken nugget box.  I happily exclaimed, "Chicken nuggets!" at which point my parents dissolved into laughter.  See, my mother had re-used the chicken nuggets box to wrap my brand new pink hair crimper (hey, it was the 80s).  I remember being disappointed...the crimper was nice but I much rather would have had the nuggets.  I still haven't lived that one down to this day.

When we lived on the lake, my cousin used to come over and go swimming all the time.  I remember sitting at the picnic table by the water, having bologna sandwiches with pretzels for lunch.  I was probably 10 years old.

I remember going to a friend's slumber party, again at about 10 years old, and being afraid of the movie we were watching.  By the way, who plays "Slumber Party Massacre" for a bunch of little kids, at a slumber party?  After that it was the "Wizard of Oz".  I sat in the kitchen with my mom and my friend's mom, finishing up the fish sticks we had for supper.

We didn't have cable when we lived on the lake until the last couple of years we lived there.  One of those cable-less days, Mom had "Gone With the Wind" going on PBS (remember those classic movie Sundays?)  It was hunting season, or something like that that would keep Dad away for dinner, so we had chicken patty sandwiches with a ketchup/mayo/relish sauce that Mom made. 

My childhood neighbor's mom introduced me to monkey bread, and his grandparents introduced me to maple syrup on snow.

See what I mean?  I could go on with these stories forever.  I have a ton of them.  I was destined to be the fat girl.  Diet after diet after diet wasn't going to change that.  So I'll have to be content with being the fat girl in my mind, and the not-so-fat girl on the outside.

It Was a Nice Day (er, weekend) for a...White Wedding

We had a pretty busy weekend.  My brother-in-law and his fiancee got married, and we all were in the wedding.

Friday I took the kids to meet up with my husband and the rest of the family in Sackets Harbor at the battlefield for rehearsal.  Family drove in from all over, even some that weren't in the ceremony itself, but came a day early.  Rehearsal went well, and there was an air of celebration.  We headed to the dinner at the Partridge Berry Inn in Watertown afterward.

I was apprehensive about it, obviously because of my new restrictions.  We were the last to arrive, because we had to stop and get gas.  We went in and got drinks.  I was hoping for iced tea; I had to settle for lemon water.  I didn't think it would be hard to watch everyone else drinking alcoholic beverages, or even juices, but it was.  They also had a fruit/cheese/cracker table set up, which I left alone.  I knew I wouldn't be able to eat much dinner and didn't want to ruin it with fruit.

I had to skip the salad course as well, because I can't eat raw veggies yet.  But it looked good, and tasted the dressing my daughter had on hers (she's a bit of a chocoholic and it looked like chocolate pudding...I had to make sure it wasn't!).  I also passed on the roll, for the same reason I passed on the fruit.

Then the time came for dinner.  I was in line for the buffet when the bride's mother pulled me out to tell me that she had ordered me a special dinner.  That was so incredibly thoughtful of her, and I was touched.  Then she told me what it was:  roasted chicken and vegetables.  I hated having to tell her I couldn't eat meat yet.  Should I not have told her and taken it anyway?  I felt like I offended her.  She ended up giving it away, and I heard it was delicious.  I'm sure it was.

Back in line I went.  It was mostly pasta, and I can have that (in theory).  I figured I would get my son a plate and eat off of his.  I got us baked ziti, tortellini in a spicy pepper and mushroom cream sauce, and stuffed rigatoni.  Well, I wouldn't let the little turkey feed himself, so he wanted no part of it.  He was content to eat his grape halves and crackers...that he fed himself.  So I nibbled on what I could, and felt ridiculous.  I also felt envious, regretful, disappointed and resentful. 

It seems as the days go on, the less I can eat.


The day of the wedding found us in Watertown bright and early to get our hair done.  All of the girls that were in the wedding met at the same place for hair and makeup.  We met there at 9:30.  I've never had my makeup done by a professional before, and I have to admit I enjoyed it.  And it turned out really nice.  Overall I was pleased with how I turned out.

We had until 2:00 til the limo was picking us up, so we went to the bride's mother's house for a small lunch.  Again I was nervous about the food.  She had a cold cut and cheese platter for sandwiches, mixed fruit, and green salad.  I had blueberries, watermelon, and ice water.  I wanted my daughter's sandwich so bad.  My niece wanted no part of her ham sandwich, and I wanted to say, "that's ok, honey, Aunt Cor will eat it for you". 

Then came the time to put on our dresses.  It was do or die time...I hadn't tried on my dress since it came back from the alterations.  I put on all my fat squishing undergarments and my strapless bra, and slid into my dress.  It was a little too big around my chest and back.  Strangely, I was tickled!  That meant I lost enough weight in a week's time to make my dress too big.  I put on the jewelry I wore in my own wedding for the first time in 7 years and emerged from the bathroom feeling like a princess.  The bride's eyes got big and she got a huge smile and said I looked amazing.   She said I looked so much younger, at which point I had to tease her and say, "you mean not like the old hag I usually look like?"  She said no, I just didn't look like a mom.  Although I've earned my mom battle stripes, I'll take that one.

At 32 years old, I had my first limo ride.  My 6 year old daughter was giddy with excitement.  My own excitement died when I had to practically crawl in on my knees and then sit on a bench seat with my boobs in my throat and my knees in my chest.  Being well endowed and tall is a pain in the ass more often than not!  Thankfully the limo was well stocked with little bottles of water. 

The wedding went wonderfully, the ceremony was beautiful and went without a hitch.  I actually felt pretty walking down the aisle, and when my husband wiggled his eyebrows at me from his place with the other groomsmen, I got this ridiculous grin on my face.  The following pictures are usually a nightmare for me, but this time I had fun.  So all this nonsense with the food and my conflicting emotions have been worth it.

The limo took us to the reception, and shortly after taking our places at the head table, we were served with rolls and salad.  Again, none for me.  I felt like a total idiot, like every eye in the place was on me.  Of course, no one cared what I was doing, and I doubt no one even noticed, but still.  So I picked up my fork and pushed the salad around so it looked like I had eaten some of it.  The waitress wasn't fooled...she gave me a funny look when she asked if she could take it.

I chose the seafood alfredo for my dinner, as I can't eat meat yet.  I was hoping it had fish in it.  It didn't, just shrimp and scallops.  I can't have those yet either.  So I twirled my linguini one strand at a time and made an effort to chew carefully and thoroughly, all the while wishing my dinner came with the baked potatoes everyone else's did.  After 4 bites, I knew I overdid it.  I sat there hoping the feeling would go away, staring at the bathroom the whole time wondering if I should go.  I ended up quickly heading in that direction and asking my husband's little 7 year old cousin if I could butt in line ahead of her because I was going to be sick.  Her grandmother had the surgery years ago, so she knows how it is.  She let me in, and up came my 4 strands of linguini and a gallon of water (again, no iced tea).  Ugh.

As I headed back to my table, I saw that there was a potato next to my plate, and all my shrimp were missing but for their tails.  My sister-in-law told me she conducted a trade, a baked potato for my shrimp.  The bride's mother to the rescue again.  So I made an effort to eat 3 bites, even though I didn't want to. 

After dinner, my inner dancing queen came out.  Those reading this who know me well are thinking "what?!"  Apparently I'm comfortable enough with myself to shake my groove thang.  And shake it I did.  Between the dancing and the sweating I did (very attractive, by the way) I must've lost another 5 pounds.  Let's hope.


We skipped out on the family breakfast this morning, as I couldn't take another meal that I couldn't eat and would be jealous of.  The only one who would have enjoyed it was my husband, as I can't have more than a bite or two, my daughter doesn't eat breakfast food, and my son won't touch eggs.  By the time we headed home it was late morning, so we stopped and they got subs to eat on the way home.  I sipped on my water, hating this whole thing. 

First thing when we got home, I threw my daughter in the bathtub to get rid of the sparkles in her hair (glitter is evil in my opinion) and headed to the kitchen to make myself some real mashed potatoes.  Ahhhhh.....finally.
*************************************************************
Congratulations, Mike and Suzanne!

I Love the Scale

Today is 5 weeks since the surgery.  I just got on the scale.  I can't get used to it being less and less every time I get on.

Minus 38 lbs. and counting.

Amazing.

****************************************************************************

Last night I watched a show called "How I Lost 100 Pounds" on Discovery Health.  There were three different stories.  One girl touched me though....she was me.  It was amazing to watch a complete stranger go through the same life as me.  Chubby kid that ballooned in adulthood due to a food addiction.  The only difference was she got the lap band rather than the bypass.  And, after losing 103 lbs. she had a body tuck to remove the 4.6 lbs. of excess skin that was hanging off of her torso.  I don't have the money for that sort of thing, so whatever is left hanging will just have to hang there.  I have no plans to ever wear a bikini anyway!

Eating Out

Last night was school shopping night.  Gabby and I went to Kohl's with my sister Crystal and my cousin Alicia, who is visiting from out of state.  We had a good time watching Gabby model all of her clothes in the dressing room.  After a couple of hours of clothes shopping (and an excruciatingly long time in the jewelry dept. looking for just the right necklace), we decided to head to Red Lobster for dinner.

I heart Red Lobster.  And I figured I'd be good with some sort of fish and the mashed potatoes.  So that's what I ordered.  Wood grilled tilapia, broccoli and the creamy languosto lobster mashed potatoes (I can't have the lobster yet so I picked it out).  I can't have salad yet either, so the waitress gave me the option of another side.  Double mashed, please!  The waitress then brought us out our cheddar bay biscuits.  Mmmm.  I decided I could nibble on one, so I did.  I had a few nibbles and it sat okay, but I figured I better quit while I was ahead.  I shouldn't have had it though, because I was full by the time my dinner came.  So I picked at my fish, which was delicious, and picked at the potatoes, which are always good.  I brought home a ton of food.  I had my potatoes, my fish, broccoli, and my sister's potatoes and the little bit of tilapia she had left.  Needless to say, I have a good 4 meals worth of food left.  I'm now the official cheap date.  Between not being able to eat more than a couple of bites, and once I can drink I imagine it won't take long to knock me on my butt, I figure things are gonna be a lot cheaper!

Tonight was soccer night, and on those nights I don't cook dinner because we don't get home til about 7.  Alicia is staying with us again tonight, so we picked up pizza on the way home.  At my favorite place.  I haven't had pizza in the house yet, and if you've been following this you know I'd rip off my arm for some pizza.  It was very hard (it looked and smelled so good!) but I sat on the couch by myself, away from the pizza, and had my reheated potatoes from last night.

I will survive.

Busy Weekend!!

Get ready for this!

It's been an interesting weekend learning what I can eat and how much...I survived, but I didn't do very well.  Friday night was my future sister-in-law's bachelorette party.  We went to dinner and a show at the comedy club in Sacketts Harbor.  My advice to you:  never ever ever eat dinner at the Lake Ontario Playhouse!  Go to one of the fabulous restaurants across the street.  That being said, I'll tell you why...

There were 14 of us, ages ranging from 20 to somewhere in the 60s.  We arrived at the playhouse, full of anticipation.  As we walked in, I saw a sign on the door that said "Showroom is air conditioned!" and was a little suspicious...what about the rest of the joint?  We went in and were directed to the dining "room", which turned out to be an upstairs loft.  And guess what?  NO air conditioning.  The fans they had going may as well have been turned off.  If I had to guess I would say it was easily in the 90 degree range up there. 

We gave the waitress our drink orders and proceeded to peruse the menu.  About the only thing on it I could eat was a baked salmon fillet, which was to be baked in a lemon herb butter sauce.  I hoped it wasn't too thick of a sauce.

The waitress brought our drinks a good 20 minutes later, at which point we were all dying of thirst as it was so hot.  No iced tea ever tasted so good!  Those poor unfortunate souls who ordered mixed drinks, however, were not so lucky.  Not one was prepared correctly.  I mean, how do you screw up a white russian?  Rum with cranberry and a splash of pineapple?  I'm not sure, but they managed it.  They didn't even know how to make a martini. 

Someone asked what the special of the day was (as advertised on the menu).  "Sorry, no special tonight."  Uh, ok.  We all placed our orders, and proceeded to wait.  And wait.  And wait.  They brought baskets of rolls, which smelled heavenly but I stayed away from.  Two fruit and cheese platters were ordered, which I also left alone.  After almost two hours, our food started arriving.  Immediately, orders were wrong.  This one didn't have the right side, this one's steak wasn't prepared correctly, etc.  My mother-in-law ordered a chicken caesar salad...it arrived with five little cubes of chicken hidden in the salad.

I was the last one to receive my dinner.  I ordered my fish with mashed potatoes, as I can't eat rice yet.  He brought my plate, and there sat a lonely piece of salmon and what was clearly a pile of unseasoned frozen broccoli.  I asked about my potatoes.  They ran out.  What?!  I gazed longingly at the girl sitting next to me, and her beautiful pile of potatoes.  I accepted it and decided to make the best out of it.  I cut into my salmon and realized there was nothing on it at all.  No spices, no sauce...what the hell?  I asked the waiter about it, and he had to check with the cook, who said it's not supposed to have anything on it.  I wanted to tell him to have her read the menu, but I didn't want to be a bitch about it.  I didn't want to ruin Suzanne's party...although other people had no problem voicing their disappointment.

The salmon was terrible.  The broccoli was bad.  A few bites and I was done.  Pretty much no one touched their dinners.  The waiter came and asked if we wanted boxes.  I think one person took something home.

At this point we had about 15 minutes to pay before the show started, but they assured us they wouldn't start without us.  We all went downstairs to pay at the bar, and as I was standing there I felt the tell-tale sign of extreme pain and pressure in my pouch--I had to throw up.  The bathroom was nearby.  I threw a $50 bill at Suzanne and told her to pay for mine as I rushed into the bathroom.  I immediately gagged, the bathroom stunk SO BAD.  I threw open the door of the stall and said bye-bye to that salmon, which was even more horrid on the way back up.  I quick washed my hands while holding my breath, and got out of there as fast as I could, still sweaty and with tears still in my eyes.

The girls were still waiting to pay.  I got my money back, and looked around.  I spotted the kitchen, and looked in.  Not only was it tiny, I saw how she made our dinners.  My fish was pan fried.  The steaks were pan fried.  It was a mess.

Finally we paid and headed into the showroom.  I guess it was air conditioned, it was cooler than the rest of the place but still warm.  We took our seats in the front row and waited.  I started feeling that damn pain and pressure again.  I sat there hoping it would go away, but it didn't.  So I headed for that horrible bathroom again (I even contemplated going outside and puking in the bushes).  I held my breath and got rid of the rest of whatever was left in my pouch.  I got the hell out of there and used the pretty smelling hand sanitizer in my purse instead of braving the smells in the bathroom any longer.

The comedian was friggin hilarious.  Well, the headliner was.  The first guy was eh, okay.  He had a few good ones, but I wasn't sad to see him go.

So we overall had a good time.  Dinner was a huge bust, but we enjoyed ourselves bitching about it while we waited, while we ate, and while we waited to pay.  Definitely a memorable experience!

                 ***************************************************************
Saturday I was able to eat next to nothing.  A bite or two was about all I could get down.  I spent the day running all over upstate NY.  From Dexter (for those of you who don't know, near Watertown) to Syracuse and many points in between.  Saturday sucked, except I got to go pick up one of my very favorite people at the airport, my cousin Alicia.  She flew in from Oklahoma for a visit.  (She's staying with us tonight).

                 ***************************************************************
Sunday we had a barbecue at my parents' house, in honor of Alicia's visit.  My mother is an amazing cook.  She had a pork loin roast going, sausage and peppers for sandwiches on these fabulous rolls, meatballs and sauce, macaroni salad, salt potatoes...I made baked beans and we brought fresh sweet corn.  My sister brought tomato pie (tomato pie is NOT a pie crust with tomato slices, it is a thick bread dough with tomato sauce and parmesan cheese.  I love tomato pie).

Not long after arriving, I helped myself to a piece of tomato pie.  I can have bread, I can have sauce.  I figured, win win.  Well....not long after eating 3 small bites, I found myself having that damn pain again, so off to the bathroom I went.  Bye, tomato pie...after that I stuck to iced tea.

Then....dinner time arrived.  I have to admit, it was hard not having Mom's sausage and peppers, and Mom's meatballs.  I can't eat meat for another couple of weeks.  I put a dab of the following on my plate: mac salad, my baked beans and a salt potato.  I took a small piece of the roll and dunked it in Mom's sauce.  I was amazed (and a bit disgusted) by how little I could eat.  It looked like I didn't touch anything at all.

After dinner, some of us were relaxing in the living room (it was raining) and some were relaxing out on the porch.  About a half hour went by, and I could hear the sauce calling me.  I tried to fight it, but I figured it's only sauce on a smidge of bread, what's the big deal.  Well, the big deal is this:  my pouch was already full, so guess where I ended up?  Yep, back in the bathroom.  Honestly, I'm so stupid sometimes.  Luckily, once it's out, I'm fine again.  No lingering effects.

So.........that was my weekend.  I'm a little leery today about what to eat.  I just put mashed potatoes in the microwave to heat up, but I gotta say, I'm getting good and damn sick of the instants, so I suppose I'm going to have to make some of my own.  I love mashed potatoes, but geez, am I going to have to eat them almost exclusively forever? 

Whining? Possibly.

I'm having a hard time getting food to go down today.  This has actually been a recurring problem.  I'm sure it's normal and I'm not freaking out about it, but I am somewhat annoyed.  I would like to get more than a couple of bites in before it feels like someone is poking my pouch really hard...not to satisfy my hunger, but to satisfy my tongue/brain. 

I've even gone so far as to backtrack to the softer foods.  Last night I heated up a can of spicy refried beans and added a pinch of 50% reduced fat Cabot cheddar.  It was very tasty, and I was able to eat about 1/2 cup.  Today however, I'm having trouble with it (I'm having it again for lunch).  It is sitting next to me as I type this, taunting me.  Maybe I'm still eating too fast and this is what I have to do...?  Take a bite, type a few sentences, take another bite...

I wasn't able to get any exercise in yesterday, and it actually kinda bummed me out.  I never thought I would want to.  I didn't sit around all day--I spent the day running the kids to the doctor for their well visits and dragging them in, around and out of Walmart...in 93 degree heat, I might add.  I just have to learn to make time for it through out the day, I guess.  I've learned with this whole new lifestyle is that planning is key.  Plan everything.  Every bite of every food that is going to go into your mouth, every sip of every drink that goes down your throat, every vitamin you have to take at what time of day...I'm just going to have to find time in between that, the kids, and housework to take a walk.  That's really all I'm allowed to do at this point.  Walk (with or without light weights) and swim.  The weather hasn't been too cooperative lately either...but this sounds like making excuses.

I assume after my next checkup, I will be released to do whatever exercising I want.  I think the first thing I am going to do is purchase a month's membership at the local gym.  Again, when I will find the time to go will be hard, but it's something I have to do.

Silk, The Other White Milk

At the suggestion of others, when I went grocery shopping last night, I purchased Silk soy milk, original flavor.  Tonight I had my first taste.  It's actually good.  It tastes to me like milk with a slight vanilla after taste.

Apparently I'm friggin allergic to soy.

I had all the symptoms of when I eat the fruit I'm allergic to:  itching throat, tongue and ears, plus the added bonus of feeling like I was going to throw up.  Fan-friggin-tastic.

So....I guess my last ditch effort may be rice milk.  Has anyone tried that?  I saw it in the grocery store in Old Forge over the weekend, but wanted to try soy milk first.  The other reason was that the rice milk wasn't in the dairy section...or the refrigerated section at all...

Easier? I Think It Might Be!

Is it possible that this is finally getting a little easier?  I feel like it might be.  Sunday we went to visit my husband's parents, who were camping at 8th Lake near Inlet.  Lunch and dinner didn't bother me at all, and I found regular food I could eat.  Cottage cheese; grilled zucchini, squash, onions and potatoes; potato salad...the smell of the grilling meat was amazing, so I thought I'd try my "suck on the steak" trick with the venison.  It was really good, but I've gone so long without meat I didn't get that huge satisfaction that I got the first time (when I was desperate!)

While we were there, I actually wanted to get off my butt and go do things.  We walked all over, went bike riding, and I even thought about kayaking, but I wasn't sure if I should do that so soon after the surgery.  I don't know if that uses abdominal muscles, or just your arms.  So I passed...for now.

Last night for dinner I made the family marinated sirloin pork chops on the grill, with my seasoned brown rice and Italian vegetables.  I had mac and cheese and the zucchini out of the veggies.  I only got about two bites of both before I started getting that uncomfortable feeling.  What better time to go grocery shopping?

So I left, leaving my husband to (semi) clean up the kitchen.  (I have dishes to wash this morning, thank you very much, dude). 

Solo grocery shopping rocks.  I love it.  No fidgety kid in the cart, no whining kid that wants to ride in the cart but is too big, no "Mom, can I have ___?"  And I went to a store I don't normally go to unless I need only a couple of things.  As I was shopping, I glanced into my cart and saw only healthy foods in it.  Not only is this new lifestyle going to affect me, but my family as well.  I didn't buy garbage before, but I didn't go overly healthy either.  Like everything was "low fat" or "sugar free" (by the way, sugar free Fudgesicles fudge bars are awesome, and only 40 calories).  I'm excited to start cooking even healthier meals.  I'm always up for the challenge.

Speaking of challenges, this coming Friday night is my sister-in-law-to-be's bachelorette party.  We're going to be going to dinner, then to a comedy club.  So I'm going to find out ahead of time where we're eating and go online to see if they have their menu listed.  But for now I'm thinking of broiled fish...it'll be Friday, after all.

My husband is picking up my bridesmaid dress tonight...I can't wait to try it on and see how huge it is...  :)

Updates

So the eggplant I was so excited about?  It was phenomenal.  Really.  I think it may be the best thing I've had so far, probably because I marinated it and cooked it on the grill.  I can't eat the skin yet, so I scooped it out...it gave it a kind of meaty quality, like when you substitute giant mushrooms for burgers.  If anyone knows where to find more japanese eggplants, let me know.

My night out was...sober.  I learned that time drags when you're not drinking, people are less funny, and generally they're more annoying.  I had a good time with my girls, don't get me wrong.  But I was home by midnight.  Lemon water just didn't cut it.

On the porch at the Pine Tree...I believe Mary described me as "glowing" while taking the picture (however, she was a bit inebriated, so we'll just laugh)

Saturday's Antics

I'm typically a hot-blooded person.  I'm always hot.  Since having the surgery, however, I find myself being cold more and more frequently.  I'm thrilled that my insulation is melting away, but am I ready to be cold?  Winter in NY is gonna be brutal if that's the case!  It's a beautiful day today, low humidity, highs in the low 70s.  My idea of perfection.  I sat in the sun for a while and did work up a sweat, but as soon as that sun disappeared behind a cloud, out came the goosebumps.  I just spent the last hour out in the backyard, watching my kids play and visiting with a friend, and I froze my ass off.  Granted, I wasn't sitting in the sun anymore, but no one else seems to be cold.  (Jess was, but she's used to a warmer climate).  So I guess that's something else to get used to.

Tonight will be my first foray into the "party scene" without being able to drink.  It's girls' night at the Pine Tree (a local bar, for those of you who don't know).  Me?  I'll be drinking water with a lemon wedge rather than my usual Michelob Ultra.  I hate being the only sober person...drunk people are annoying.  Unless you're one of them, then they're fun!  I know I can drink again in 6 months, and that's fine.  It makes me wonder though--when I can drink again, can I have beer?  Are carbonated beverages out of my life for good?  I guess that's a question for my next doctor's visit.  Or for one of my friends that is further along in their new lifestyle than I am.

Since I'm going out tonight, and it's getting on in the evening, I am planning on grilling hot dogs for the family and cooking up some fresh sweet corn.  I was reading the label on the hot dogs...16 grams of fat and 170 calories for ONE hot dog.  One.  Uno.  Singular.  That's friggin ridiculous.  I bought the Oscar Meyer bun-lengths (that were on sale) advertising "no artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or by-products".  I guess it makes me feel better that my family isn't eating lips and asses, but that seems like a high amount of fat.  I'm not going to obsess about it anymore though.  We've all eaten hot dogs, and no one has been damaged so far...that I know of.  Let's hope the dive headfirst into the corn and not care too much about the 'dogs.

What am I having, you ask?  My mother is growing eggplant in her garden, and yesterday she gave me one.  I sliced it lengthwise, drizzled it with olive oil, and sprinkled on black pepper and barbeque seasoning.  I'm going to grill it and see how that works out for me.  I'm a little excited...about a vegetable.  Who'da thunk it?

Moo Juice

Milk.  I miss milk.  I'm a big fan.  Ice cold.  White, chocolate, strawberry...doesn't matter.  Whole, 2%, 1%.  Unfortunately, my new lifestyle doesn't have much room for milk in it.  Damn lactose.  Lactose is sugar, sugar is bad (see "Dumping Syndrome" post).

This poses another problem...no milk = no coffee.  Yeah, I could go for the sugar free creamers, but as I have stated before, I hate that fake sugar taste.  And it totally changes the taste of coffee.  I've had coffee twice since the surgery (using a scant amount of french vanilla creamer) but it's just not the same.  As an avid coffee drinker, I can tell you that this sucks.  I'm a big Dunkin Donuts iced coffee fan as well...I just can't get into drinking it any other way then with cream and sugar.  *sigh*  I must get in touch with my fellow bypass-ers and see what they do.

Does anyone know what those soy milks taste like?  I'm a little afraid to try.

Enjoy your tall glass of milk.  Enjoy your hot cup of joe.  You never know when you might have to quit.

...And That's What Happens When You're a Pig

I'm going to try to finish this new post...I've started it three times already!  I have a very mouthy, unruly girl this morning.  So between numerous interruptions and two poopy diapers, I'm going to try again.

I had my first adventure in overeating.  It was two nights ago, the first night of my new menu choices.  I made elbows and sauce, and it was sooo goood.  I had my allotted 1/2 cup or so (maybe it was a little more, I didn't measure) and was full.  Everyone else finished their dinner, and they went outside to play, leaving me to do the kitchen--again.  *Sigh*, a mother's work never ends.  Anyway, it was about a half hour after I finished dinner that I went out to clean the kitchen.  There sat the elbows, completely naked...no sauce, no butter, no nothing.  I love naked pasta.  Call me weird, but I do.  So I picked three elbows out and ate them.  Mmm, good!  So I took 3 more.  All of a sudden, I felt like someone was pushing their fist into my pouch. [For those of you who don't know, the pouch is located directly under your sternum]  I thought, "ok, I'll just walk around and hope it settles"  Yeah, it didn't.  In fact, it kept getting worse, and the urge to throw up was getting stronger and stronger.  I went into the bathroom, terrified, because I have heard horror stories about throwing up with the pouch.  Well, throw up I did, and it wasn't terrible.  I mean, throwing up is never fun, but compared to how it normally feels, it wasn't so bad.  Still, it isn't something I'm going to aspire to do again.  I know it's inevitable, and it will happen until I learn my limitations, but at least now I don't have to be scared.

In other news...a friend of mine "introduced" me (via Facebook) to her friend who had the surgery 2 years ago.  She is doing wonderfully.  She talked to me about nutrition and vitamins, and got me wondering if I'm taking in enough protein.  I'm thinking about ordering supplements from the website she referred me to.  I'm in love with this website.  It has fantastic recipes that I can't wait to try, sugar free foods that they swear don't taste sugar free, vitamins, supplements, support...anything you could want.  Check it out, I've been on it daily.  www.bariatriceating.com

Today I'm off to swim my ass off at my parents' pool...and I do hope that literally happens!  Right now I have to go get my children under control...distracted mother = children misbehaving for attention.

Starting Week 4 of the Diet!

Today marks the beginning of the fourth week of the diet.  Which means I get to introduce new foods.  Yay!  This is the week I've been waiting for.  The only downside is nothing new will be introduced again until week 7.  But for now, this is what I get to try:

• Egg salad, hard boiled eggs
• Baked/broiled flaky fish
• Soft cooked veggies
• Soft, skinless fruits
• Soft cooked pasta
• Soft cooked beans/legumes
• Couscous

Meals should not exceed 1/2 cup total.  I'm cool with that; I can't get that much down anyway.

What am I having for lunch today?  Elbows and sauce, baby!  Finally!  Food!  Last night I made hamburgers and the corn on the cob that Goob picked up.  Not having fresh sweet corn this year is going to be hard...but I have all the other foods I can enjoy.  I'm having him pick up extra each time so I can freeze some...I will enjoy it over the winter!

Three Weeks Post-Op

I had my 3 week post-op checkup yesterday.  I met with the nurse practitioner who was with me from the time I was wheeled into the surgical holding area that first day.  She's the one who was picking on the size of my feet.  I like her.  According to her, I'm the picture of health.  Most exciting to me at this point is that for the first time in ten years I don't have to take any blood pressure medicine.  How cool is that?  Within the next two months, I should be off of all of my pre-op meds.  I'm so excited about that!  Buh-bye copays!

As of yesterday, I'm 25 lbs lighter and have lost 17% body fat.  Not bad for 3 weeks time!  She said that my goal is to lose 75% of the body fat, putting my weight at anywhere between 150 and 170.  I haven't seen those numbers since high school...you know, when I thought I was a fat ass but was really pretty hot? haha!

So time will tell how much I actually lose (exercise, of course, being a big factor) but she told me that most of the weight will come off in the first 7 months, and should all be off in a year or so.  Everyone is different, so no one knows for sure.

And...after the first six months I can introduce alcohol back into the equation.  Not that I was a big drinker before, but I do enjoy the occasional cocktail now and again!  Looks like there will be drinks on my birthday after all...

I copied a couple of pictures off of k-rock's facebook site from the concert...now you'll know why we left!

Ridiculous, right?

 I'm in this crowd somewhere...

In other news, tomorrow is my 3-week post-op checkup.  I'll let you know officially how I'm doing, not just what I think!