I learned a little bit about myself today. First off, right now I should be at the k-rockathon, watching my favorite band in the universe tear it up. Am I? No, I'm sitting on my computer. I did go, however...I just didn't make it there long.
First and foremost...I'm too old for that sh*t. I realized that I'm too old pretty much seconds after we turned into the fairgrounds, and saw the hoards of little punks in the parking lot just being obnoxious. I thought $10 for parking was outrageous. What made me realize I might not belong there was the cardboard sign boasting "Jello shots-$1" tacked up by someone's car. Yeah, I don't think so, pal. Jello shots = good fun...if you know where they're coming from! And I thought I was going to have to get out and beat this jerk who was punching the rear of cars as they went by...mine being one of them. Pull up your pants and stop being an ass. No one wants to see your red plaid boxers.
After about a 2 mile walk (or thereabouts) from East Bumfrick where we had to park, we entered the gates...only to be patted down first. No, no weapons here, ma'am. We tentatively made our way into the grounds, and into the throngs of people. I mean, there were people everywhere. Half dressed, drunk, goth, stoned, did I mention half dressed?
I felt like the oldest person there (although I saw many people in their 40s and 50s rockin' their little hearts out).
First place we went was this little stand selling gyros and pitas and the like. All I wanted was a bottle of water. "Bottle of water, you say? Sorry, we only have soda and Powerade. Water is only available at the beer tents." Are you friggin kidding me?? Like you can get within a 20 foot radius of the beer tents. So we each got a Powerade, and headed toward the stages. We got pretty darn close, and I was thinking maybe it wouldn't be too bad after all. The band on stage finished their set, and another band took the other stage. All of a sudden, Danielle and I found ourselves in wall-to-wall people. I mean, the people in front of us were literally 6 inches away, same goes for behind us and beside us. There were people crowd surfing and there was fighting, there were people throwing bottles of water and soda and shoes...frankly, I was a little freaked. We made it through the next band's thankfully short set, and we hightailed it outta there. I could tell she wasn't having a good time, and I was starting to feel light headed in the sun. Let's not forget I had surgery 2 weeks ago...
So, we made our 2 mile trek back out to the car (thank goodness my car is yellow!) and made our way to Carousel Mall, where I purchased knock-off Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses and a smutty book. We went to the food court, where I found mashed potatoes (that were disgusting).
After I dropped her off, I went to KFC and bought more (delicious!) mashed potatoes and a kids' meal for Gabby, then I headed over to Wendy's to get Goob his heart-attack-on-a-bun. I'm happy to be home and to be with my people.
So, to sum up...I'm too old to enjoy the things I should have enjoyed in my early 20s but didn't, and I really really don't like people en masse. Also, I'm not really the badass I thought I was. And I will forget all of this the next time one of my bands comes to the Aud.
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